TRAUMA TRAUMA TRAUMA TRAUMA

Guess who?? I'm back. And with yet another anecdote of yet another injury i have sustained to amuse you all in this time of stress! So go ahead, take pleasure in my pain. You officially have my permission to do so.

So tonight, after dinner, i was being nice and decided to bring my plate to the kitchen. However, the dear chair decided it hadn't caused me pain for a rather long time, (It usually does this every other day at least, so having refrained from doing so for about an entire half-week, is considered a quite an achievement) and felt it time to revert to its routine. I guess again, that you can guess what happened! But with encouragement from mu, i have decided to share my tragic experience with you. So, very predictably, i walked into the chair. Interestingly, i did not get any cut or bruise from this. But this, in turn, (i conclude) upset the chair, and so it became determined to cause me some misery. It toppled onto my poor toe! At first, it was kind of numb but after a while, the pain started to come and i started screaming and screaming! It was SOOO painful, i tell you. And this was the sharp edge of the chair, mind you. So much for being responsible and bringing my plate to the kitchen! Subsequent to my screaming, of course, as usual, nobody came to my rescue as they all think i'm crying wolf again! Huh! But they started to believe me when a pool of blood accumulated on my toe. I repeat, a POOL!! It was gigantic, almost the size of a five-cent coin! Yuck. And because so much blood was oozing out, it turned from light pink to light red to dark red to darker red, and eventually to an almost black! This was seriously gross. I would have fainted if i wasn't so experienced and used to the sight of my poor self bleeding (thanks to countless wounds, cuts, gashes, lacerations i have chalked up over the years).

After this, my mother, with good intentions of course, came and started dabbing it with a tissue. This sent me into immense agony. I shall kindly spare you the gory details. Next, i waited quite a long time and endured much pain, so that a clot would form or something, and after a while, i examined it, and deemed it time for me to start moving around again. BUT, as i started climbing the stairs, i hit the injured part of my toe on the edge of the stairs!! (The stairs again! Refer to previous traumatic post, regarding the ankle) What luck, you say! Yes i agree completely! Needless to say, the rather fragile clot, or whatever it's called, over the cut was broken and there was blood all over the stairs. Double gross. Okay, you get the picture. I shan't paint it all explicitly for you, or you'll all probably faint! (You're not as experienced as me, you see) And so i have obviously pulled through my hour of trauma with resilience and survived to finally hobble here to tell this little tale of my great misfortune tonight. See, i just provided you all with many reasons to be happy! 1) I'm not nicole. 2) I don't get injured like nicole. 3) Pieces of furniture and stairs don't hate me like they hate nicole. Oh, these are but three! Well, i guess you're all in luck, because i've got to go figure out a way to shower now, in order to suffer the least possible pain, and can't rant on and on and on and on and on...

Till next (traumatic) time,
Cheerio!
nic

PS. DID I SAY IT WAS THE SAME SIDE OF ME AS MY ANKLE?!!